Agony Shorthand

Saturday, April 12, 2003
THE WORST ROCK CRITICISM EVER?....If one ever put together a survey of the most mawkish, overly sentimental and poorly-written rock criticism of all time, 9 out of 10 articles would likely have been written about BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. What is it about the Jersey Devil that inspires such horrors of the written word? I don't get it -- but man, in these tough, tryin' times, what we need is a VOICE to step out of the shadows and TEACH us why the world is full of sufferin' and hate -- and the BOSS is always that man. The dismantling of the cult of Bruce has been done much better in this Wall Street Journal (really!) piece from last year, but evidently Steven Winn didn't get word that the jig was up. He has officially written the worst piece of Bruce fawning EVER, in yesterday's San Francisco Chronicle. A particularly putrid sample, from the closing paragraph:

"Someone tossed Springsteen a white cowboy hat near the end. Someone else broke out an American flag. Symbols are everywhere right now and simply too complicated to figure out. Music makes its own explanations. "Sha la la," went the final ringing chorus of the night. "Sha la la la la la." "

Read the whole thing -- it's priceless. SHA LA LA LA LA LA!